Something has Changed

I missed several practices due to my work schedule at Macy's, and I was feeling so stressed about our chamber recital. It turned out that the recital was postponed due to my teacher's recent illness (she is better, thank the Lord).

I went to lesson today, and was amazed at how well I am playing now. It is as if something has changed, and I am just getting the hang of playing the cello. My son's senior recital is December 12th, and truthfully, I am not worried about it. I was deathly afraid of the chamber recital on the 28th of November, but this time, I am OK with it. I know we will do just fine (all of us!)

Great Lesson

I had a good lesson, and enjoyed playing Christmas Carol's with my teacher.

Great Chamber Rehersal

Yesterday was great! My lesson was super, and I made huge progress. I am still getting a little lost, but I was able to stick with the group, get back where I needed to be, and finish the piece properly. I am jazzed! Now to see if Macy's will give me those two Sunday's off? We will see...

Getting it -- Now just doing it?

Ok, so I am two for two on practice this week. I made the decision that I had to practice every day (as if I didn't already know that), but with working and some family tension issues, practice just went out the door. Ugh! I got back on the horse, did my due-diligence, and thankfully, I am not that off. Praying for a miracle -- our chamber recital is Nov. 28th!

Listening to a Recording

I had my son record our chamber music so that I could put it on my IPod. WOW! What a great idea! I have had some issues with timing so now I can listen to the music and practice along with it BEFORE we actually go to chamber each Friday. I am so blessed to have such a phenomenal musician in my family (who can not only play but record MP3s for me).

Update on Cello

I have had a breakthrough of sorts. I have been struggling to find my fit with cello. I am not sure why this happened, how all of a sudden, I just stopped being able to play the cello well -- but it happened. I have been trying to figure it out, almost to the point of tears, when suddenly it dawned on me. I have been trying to do something with the cello that I simply was not really wanting to do. Let me explain...I started cello study about one year ago (in November). At that time, I simply wanted to learn how to play the cello. I didn't think I would ever be able to play as part of a group. In January, I began lessons, and I quickly got up to speed where I could play some beginning/intermediate pieces. This summer I started playing as part of a trio, and I found out that I love chamber. Then this fall, my teacher asked me to come to chamber with her other violin students (5-6 year students). I have struggled to hold my own since then, and as we get closer to recital, I am becoming more and more a mess. Nothing seems to be going right for me, so I decided to take a little break and think things through a bit.

Epiphany!

Yes, I had an epiphany. I came to terms with my cello playing and I finally accepted what it is that I really want to do with the cello. On Sunday, I attended our traditional service so that I could work at Macy's at 11. Our traditional service normally has two violins, the band, and choir. This time, the bassist played acoustic bass, and with the violins, I just knew that this is what I wanted to do. I love playing chamber music, and I love the idea of playing worship music. I have been pushing myself to get through the Suzuki books, and frankly, they are boring to me. I love classical music, don't get me wrong, but I am not interested in becoming a Yo Yo Ma. At one time, that is what I wanted to be -- a professional cellist. Now, though, I am really content just to play for the enjoyment of making beautiful music. I love the cello, and I want to play violin too. I want to play for the Lord, for His Glory, and to make beautiful music with other musicians.

Now that I have that out of the way, I realize that I need to find some other cello books to work through instead of moving into Suzuki Book 4. I love some of the sections in this book, so I will probably continue to work on the ones I like best; but I really enjoy more strings music, and so I am going to look for Book 3/4 of strings group music to see if I can find pieces that I would enjoy more than solo work.

Rethinking Cello

It has been a couple weeks since I really pushed hard on the cello. I have been practicing daily, and I am seeing good progress. I have decided to make a change to my cello goals. First off, my initial goal was to play well enough so that I could perform in chamber group or at church. Then, I actually thought that I would like to play well enough to play professionally (in trio for weddings or other events). Now, though, I have decided that I want to pursue the cello simply because I love this instrument. I am no longer going to push myself to achieve a goal that would required significant practice and a dedicated study schedule. Partly this is due to the fact that I am already on a goal/path for graduate study. I am getting my MA in English Literature so that I can teach college level composition courses. Upon completion in May 2012, I plan to enroll at ASU to finish a PhD in English (Rhetoric, Composition and Linquistics). This degree will require about 4 years of additional study, but will enable me to teach at a University. This goal along with my full-time work needs top priority. I cannot do more than what I am able to do, so my desire for cello, which is still strong and important to me, will now become a passionate endeavor based solely on pleasing the One who is the Author of all Music.