2013 and a whole lot of nothing

Yes, it has been over a year since I blogged on this site. I have been so very busy with work and school, and unfortunately, cello got set by the way side. My cello teacher retired in 2013, moved to another part of town, and I was left to continue to work on studies on my own. I did my best, but I wasn't into it anymore. Thankfully, we have kept in touch and our small chamber group still gets together occasionally. It is not the same, though, and that is what bothers me most. My son has grown up, now age 20, and is so very busy with life, work, and his own thing. Our other member went away to school (good for her), and that left just the three of us who remained (one adult, one high schooler, and myself). We have stayed together, and played together, but like I said -- it is just not the same.

I pulled my cello out yesterday and lugged it across town to play with my teacher. It was nice to see her, and we covered a couple Christmas tunes. My cello is so difficult to play, really I mean it. It doesn't help that I am out of practice, and that I have forgotten how to read notes, LOL! I invested about $250 into my cello in 2012, and the luthiers did a good job of getting it back into shape. But the cello itself is wrong, just wrong. It was made wrong, and over the years has suffered greatly due to neglect. I would love a better cello, but at this point, I am stuck with what I have and with what I can afford.

After all, I am a graduate student again (PhD) and I am working part-time (teaching English Literature) so right now I have very limited funds to devote to anything outside of living expenses. Perhaps in 2014, I might get a better cello? Oh, wouldn't that be lovely! For now, I will continue to dream of a new cello, but I will settle for what I do have. God is good to me, and I am thankful for the cello I have to play. Thank you!

Some thoughts on getting back into shape:

• I was just listening to George Winston's Christmas album on Pandora, and a song came on that had a beautiful cello solo. I so wish I could play something lovely like this song. I need to find some lovely cello music that is not fast, but is slow and melodic. I think I would play more often if I could play the kind of music I like to play.
• I have some good books to practice scales and such. I need to set aside a small amount of playing time each day and just practice. My calluses have worn off and my fingers are so sore. I need to get my fingers back into shape again.
• I need to make time to play - that is really the crux of the matter. I just don't make the time. I fill it with everything else BUT practice. My fault, my bad...
• Last, I need to recommit to cello and make it a priority among all my other priorities. I can do it, I have time, I just need to make it so.

I do love playing the cello. Yesterday as I went to my teacher's house I was thinking that I was no longer interested in playing the cello. I said to myself "I don't care anymore" but this wasn't true. After I got to her house, and we started to play the music she had selected, I felt myself let go and enjoy the experience again. I think I enjoyed playing because of my teacher and the small group I played with each week. It gave me something to look forward to each week, and I loved the friendship of the group. I miss that feeling, that sense of belonging. I think this is really the issue. I gave up playing cello because I lost my friends, my teacher, and my sense of being a part of a group.