I have had a breakthrough of sorts. I have been struggling to find my fit with cello. I am not sure why this happened, how all of a sudden, I just stopped being able to play the cello well -- but it happened. I have been trying to figure it out, almost to the point of tears, when suddenly it dawned on me. I have been trying to do something with the cello that I simply was not really wanting to do. Let me explain...I started cello study about one year ago (in November). At that time, I simply wanted to learn how to play the cello. I didn't think I would ever be able to play as part of a group. In January, I began lessons, and I quickly got up to speed where I could play some beginning/intermediate pieces. This summer I started playing as part of a trio, and I found out that I love chamber. Then this fall, my teacher asked me to come to chamber with her other violin students (5-6 year students). I have struggled to hold my own since then, and as we get closer to recital, I am becoming more and more a mess. Nothing seems to be going right for me, so I decided to take a little break and think things through a bit.
Yes, I had an epiphany. I came to terms with my cello playing and I finally accepted what it is that I really want to do with the cello. On Sunday, I attended our traditional service so that I could work at Macy's at 11. Our traditional service normally has two violins, the band, and choir. This time, the bassist played acoustic bass, and with the violins, I just knew that this is what I wanted to do. I love playing chamber music, and I love the idea of playing worship music. I have been pushing myself to get through the Suzuki books, and frankly, they are boring to me. I love classical music, don't get me wrong, but I am not interested in becoming a Yo Yo Ma. At one time, that is what I wanted to be -- a professional cellist. Now, though, I am really content just to play for the enjoyment of making beautiful music. I love the cello, and I want to play violin too. I want to play for the Lord, for His Glory, and to make beautiful music with other musicians.
Now that I have that out of the way, I realize that I need to find some other cello books to work through instead of moving into Suzuki Book 4. I love some of the sections in this book, so I will probably continue to work on the ones I like best; but I really enjoy more strings music, and so I am going to look for Book 3/4 of strings group music to see if I can find pieces that I would enjoy more than solo work.